Horror Bites - We Summon The Darkness

Meh.

I hate when I get into a bit of a writing funk, which usually happens after watching a few harmless, but mostly dull movies of the horror variety in a row. I get ready for a long review, with witty jokes and observations that I think are smart, and then and I look at the blank screen, and all I can think to say is Meh. In fairness to myself, meh, perfectly describes the feeling I got while watching We Summon The Darkness. I actually watched it in two sittings as I got distracted by something shiny and more interesting to look at. I went back the next day and rewatched the last forty minutes while actually paying attention, well mostly.

We Summon the Darkness follows a trio of ladies who are going to a "Metal" concert. I don't even think they could be bothered to name the band they were going to see. I'll fix that, the ladies were going to see Horned Pustule, the newest metal band on the scene. Along the way, they meet a trio of non-ladies, and they hit it off. The girls bring their new friends back to the empty summer home of one of their dad's to party and get metal. But, surprisingly, the girls are actually super religious fanatics who want everything to be good and pure in the world. To make this happen, they are staging the Satanic ritual deaths of metalheads to show how God is good. Yeah, it's not a good twist, but a twist it is.

I think other than the story, my main issue comes from the girls themselves. When we don't know about their little plan, they act smart, make regular decisions, and just seem to have it together. Yet, as the night winds down, they become crazed, easy to anger, and make some stupid choices. It was like watching two different sets of characters by the end of the film. I know they were supposed to be fanatics, yet they changed so much from their original personalities that it became a bit distracting. All the actors in the film did a great job as well. But again, in the second half, the girls all felt like their acting had devolved to a mix of scenery-chewing and phoning it in. Johnny Knoxville is on the cover of this film but is in it so sparingly that he doesn't make an impression either way. Everything seemed so bland that none of it made an impression, hence me needing more than one sitting to finish a pretty short movie, at least by today's standards.

We Summon The Darkness lacked something to make it stand out. Being set in 1988, I think the writers wanted that '80s vibe, but the movie felt new age right from the get-go. Hard to get into an '80s homage when it screams, "I AM THE '80s!!!!"

While I usually all for Heavy Metal mixed with Satan, I don't think this one is worth your time. That is unless you're a fan of bland Satanic panic films, or you really want to see another movie that wastes Alexandria Daddario's potential as an actress.