Horror Bites - Grotesque

You had me enthralled Grotesque. You were over the top, crazy, and filled with the kind of mayhem that makes for a fun bad movie night. Then you decided to turn yourself into a weird whodunnit, where we already know who did it. Adding an extra half hour that dragged you through the borings. Then you kind fo recovered with a weird and fun ending that makes little sense but fits perfectly with the first half of the film. Why did you do this to me Grotesque, we could have been friends!!! It's maddening!!!!

I know it is weird to complain about the fact that a movie was not terrible all the way through. In truth, Grotesque is "bad" all the way through, but for the first half, it's the fun kind of bad. The kind that I enjoy the most. The plot is about a girl and her friend visiting her parents in the north country during winter. Her dad is a special effects guru who is also a loving family man but may have a dark secret. The girls run amok a gang of '80s thugs who are so over the top, they are unreal in every way. Also, Robert Z'dar is in the gang, so enough said. Anyways, the leather-bound miscreants break into the family's home, thinking that the dark secret is money or drugs. They murder, have sex, and generally cause a terrible ruckus, only to find out the truth behind the secret. What they find is a deformed super strong, mentally handicapped man living in a soundproof room. Yup, and when this man sees that his father is dead, he goes on a neck-snapping, back-breaking, shotgun to the face type of rampage killing spree. Only a shotgun blast to the face can hope to contain him. B-movie Perfection.

Sadly, there's more. In fact, there are forty minutes more. Thirty of those minutes being the meanderings of plastic surgeon uncle who must clear the name of the now-defunct deformed man. See, the two surviving gang members are going to get away with the murders, as the police think it was the crazed deformed man who killed everyone. Now, the ending and how the uncle deals with the pair is amazing. But, in between, the movie drags itself down to a level of meandering dullness that it almost ruined the whole thing for me. The problem being, we already know he is correct in assuming who killed his family since we watched it happen. But now, we get to watch him go through paperwork and make phone calls. We thrill as we watch him try to get proper evidence. Proper police procedures are so much fun! It really is a bit jarring to go from a "bad" movie '80s horror romp to a legal action style paperwork borefest. Eventually, even the uncle gives up on the plot and abducts them with the use of the trusty shotgun. So the movie gets back on track, but the damage was already done.

After all that, I would still recommend this one for the first half and ending alone. It will be a rough ride eventually, but I think there is enough fun to be had for at least one viewing with friends. If I am being honest, you can probably skip to the end of the film after the uncle gets involved. Just to make it a bit of a perfect short film B-movie experience.