Movies made by the now-infamous "The Asylum" are always hit and miss. Well, they are usually more miss than hit if we are being honest. In this case, you have to remember that the movies which are considered hits in my mind aren't actually good either. Most, if not all of them are bad, but sometimes, they are the right kind of bad. Well, at least for me. Attila feels like one of those fun bad movies as long as you know what you are getting in to.
I love easy it is to tell the time and effort put into this movie by how historically accurate it is. See, according to Attila, he never rode a horse. None of his armies did either. They fought solely over Eastern Europe and had many sons whose names this movie got right, and history got wrong. Also, Moses's staff was an implement used for evil that could bring back the dead. Necromancy was something Moses was famously known for. Now that you are caught up on the totally accurate history of Attila, let's get to the plot.
Attila captured and used the staff of Moses to make sure that his sons would rise from the grave in the future and bring him back to life. He ensured this by using the staff and making them into unkillable death machines, who apparently died anyways. Fast forward to the future where the American military sends dozens of clip art helicopters to fight a fictitious war in Eastern Europe as a guise to retrieve a piece of the staff. A crack team of three schmoes lands and takes a stone slab with a half-melted body attached to it. Unlucky for them, everyone who goes near the body bleeds on it. This blood eventually brings the half body stuck to the slab back to life. Now awake and Immortal, Attila's first son, now known as Nomad, rampages over the same two acres of the forest until finally forced to fight his dad. See, Attila was resurrected through the body of an army general using the staff of Moses. The two immortal warriors then fight each other for supremacy, and then they explode.
Look, this movie is not good. But laughably so. The effects are up to regular Asylum standards, as is the acting. If you read the plot synopsis, you know the story is goofy, but it all works in a b-movie way. There is even a side plot about how drinking Attilas blood from Moses's staff can beat cancer. Add to that, the main character is a crazy army vet who talks to himself, sees ghosts and shoots at his co-workers, and yet is still in charge of missions, and you've got a low budget romp full of fun. Also, the are multiple kung fu fights against the undead son of Attila.
Look, if you are looking for a good movie, you probably wouldn't be reading this. If you are looking for a well-researched film about Attila the hun, you're in the wrong place. On the other hand, if you want to enjoy a b-movie movie with friends. You know the type where you talk over the boring bits while laughing at the kung fu attila scenes and totally inaccurate history. Then grab some friends, sit at a safe distance, and get some laughs with this one.