Zombies.
They're everywhere nowadays. It feels like the movie and TV industries are so saturated with zombies and their ever-changing lore, that if an end of the world scenario involving zombies does happen every person on the planet would be prepared. It'd be more like MTV's Death Valley than the Walking Dead. But, a saturated genre means more chances of dollar bin collections existing that are dedicated solely to the shambling walkers of undead origin. So, what better time than now to judge one of these collections. I present "Midnight Horror Collection: Zombies!" I assume this means that the "Midnight Horror" brand has other collections. Maybe, vampires, werewolves, users of social media, you know, all the monsters. In any case, let us begin the ranking of Craptacular Compilations Volume 2!
Look at that cover. It's not a masterpiece, but at least you instantly understand the theme of this collection. Also, the word Zombie appears on it five times to hammer home the idea. For a dollar bin collection, I can say that I am impressed at the effort put into this one.
Like most of its brethren, the "Midnight Collection" doesn't try to hide the crap that is contained inside. Its front cover gives you a complete view of all the movies you're about to purchase. Mixing in classics like Night of the Living Dead, and White Zombie to lull you into a fake sense of quality, while the distributor desperately hopes you won't notice the plethora of other films you've never heard of. Still, we are here for review purposes. Asking, is this collection any good? Does it contain some hidden gems? Am I going to turn into a zombie just by watching all of these films? Well, that's what we're here to find out. Here we go, ranking them from worst to best, starting with...
10. Awaken The Dead
A movie that hates the use of lighting, Awaken the Dead is about Government made zombies, a daughter/prostitute, and a stepson/priest/holy avenger/alcoholic. You know, like most typical zombie films.
During an outbreak, the priestly stepson and prostitute daughter meet at their dad's zombie proofed home to survive the undead and of course have sex. Zombies are killed, people are yelled at, and lights go unused as the movie slogs its way to a boring and cliche conclusion.
It feels like a rip-off of The Crazies and The Cloth. But, since latter is also a terrible movie, I'd say it leans more in that direction.
9. Grave Mistake
Take a regular old zombie movie, add a racist murdering stepdad into it, and you now have Grave Mistake. I am sure adding a racist murdering stepdad into anything would be a grave mistake, but this time it is specific to this low-budget zombie fest.
It's the main characters that kind of drag this one down. See, if not for the stepdad and the nerdy, beyond annoying zombie survivalist, this movie would be able to bask in the glory of a completely nondescript and mundane set of characters. Instead, they settled with boring and annoying.
By the end, nothing gets settled. I mean, zombies are killed, and zombies do some killing, but nothing else of note happens.
8. Teenage Zombies
The first pre-2000's film on the list, Teenage Zombies is far from an old-time classic.
A mad scientist tries her hardest to use nerve gas to make mindless rage zombies out of some peppy teenagers but fails on every level. She also somehow manages to make the concept of a rage-filled zombie ape seem dull. Which, as a B-movie fan, the thought that a movie can make any idea involving a rage-filled ape bad is a direct insult to my brain.
Teenage Zombies is dull, poorly acted, poorly made, and even with that minuscule run time, still a complete waste of your day.
7. I am Omega
Like all Omega Man rip-offs, I am Omega is based on the Richard Matheson story about the last man on Earth (Allegedly) trying to survive in a mutant/zombie/vampire ridden world.
But this time, that man has a pair of nunchaku and a baaaaaadddd attitude! In fairness, that bad attitude only comes about when a ton of other humans show up and interrupt his normal daily routine of going insane. I feel that way about Twitter sometimes.
Most of the movie is duller than anything and showcases a washed-out color palette which makes everything an unhealthy brown color. Look, you can have a man fight zombies all day long with nunchucks and kung-fu but that doesn't change the fact your movie is a crap-colored mess.
6. Last of The Living
Made on a small budget and filled with references to other, better zombie movies, Last of The Living, is a movie that feels oddly familiar. Probably because it's an amalgam of all the low-budget zombie films that we have been inundated with during the last decade or so.
The story follows a trio of unlikable guys as they try to survive the zombie apocalypse together. Eventually, they meet a woman who changes everything! See, as a woman, she is clearly not a man, meaning there needs to be a large subplot about who gets to sleep with her. Come on, she has boobs, so why not make them a focal point of the film, right? The movie then devolves into the guys fighting over her, while fighting zombies, and something about a cure. It's all typical fare at this point.
Honestly, the more low-budget zombie movies you watch the more you learn how much they are all basically the same.
5. Hide and Creep
Hitting the middle of the pack with 2004's Hide and Creep. A movie that has so many side plots and side characters that you being to wonder if there was ever a main plot at all.
At first, the movie follows a trio of redneck hunters, who after learning of the living dead, rush home to protect their families and dry county town. This is probably the only plotline worth revisiting, as their interactions with each other and the townsfolk make for the most entertaining parts of the film.
Then there are aliens, video store guys, ex-wives, ex-husbands, secret service, men in black, and a host of useless side plots that serve only to drag the movie down into lower mediocrity. It can feel like an attempt to be wacky that just doesn't land.
4. Zombie Dearest
Sometimes, after watching a seemingly infinite amount of indie zombie apocalypse movies, with re-hashed plots about the end of the world, and learning that the real evil is man, you need a change.
Zombie Dearest was that change.
It's a movie that follows the story of a failed stand-up comedian who makes a wish on a zombies penis and it gets granted. That idea alone is worth the price of admission.
So, while the movie does drag, and has some length and pacing issues. It was a nice surprise to watch something that didn't fall into the norm of the genre.
3. King of The Zombies
A wannabe Ghost Breakers, but with even more inherent racism of the time, King of The Zombies, still manages to be better than almost all the films on this collection.
The movie has a light plot involving a bumbling white man and his comedic black sidekick valet trying to stop a Nazi scientist from using mind control to learn American military secrets.
In a weird twist, the black valet, Jeff, seems to be the one solving everything in the film. I don't think this was intentional, but other than the very end when his boss stops the scientist, Jeff does most of the heavy lifting.
While not amazing, the short runtime and goofy premise make it an easy watch, as long as you're prepared for the racism of the '40s.
2. White Zombie
Released in 1932, and starring Bela Lugosi fresh from his classic performance in Dracula, White Zombie is the granddaddy of all zombie films and is still a treat to watch.
Following the story of a man named Murder and how he wants to use zombies to make his life better. Using the greed and lust of a wealthy man, Murder murders his way to the top, only to be thwarted by a young man and priest. Isn't that always the story.
Showcasing the older school of voodoo zombies, this movie deserves its classic status and still stands head and shoulders above a lot of the new movies that saturate the sub-genre today. If you haven't seen this yet, there is no time like the present.
1. Night of The Living Dead
Yeah, that's right, the Romero classic. It's where all the tropes and cliches of the zombie sub-genre began.
It's a must-watch for all horror fans. If you've seen only one zombie film in your life, it was probably this one or its sequel. If you're a horror fan new to the genre, go watch this, it's easy to find.
I do think that this movie has unwittingly lead to the over-saturation of the zombie sub-genre though. Every backyard director and their friends who love zombies but have no money can make a crap version of Night of The Living Dead. Hence, the unending backyard homages to this film. But, that's what classics do. They ingrain themselves into pop culture so hard that people can't let them go. That status is deserved and is one of the reasons why Night of The Living Dead is the easy choice for best film on this compilation.
You may have noticed that the top three films are all from 1968 and before, with the second and third spot going to films made in the '30s and '40s. To me, this is because of the genre saturation I keep mentioning. In the older eras, these movies seemed new and innovative. Now, they seem re-hashed and overdone. It is to be expected that after all these years that plots and ideas repeat themselves, but that is not an excuse to stop trying to innovate. I think it's time for the zombie to evolve into something new. Not sparkly vampire new, but something different.
While there are a few other bright spots on this collection, The Midnight Collection: Zombies, is far from worth your time. The top three spots are easy to find on their own, and the only other movie on here that is worth seeing is Zombie Dearest. That film stands as the lone hidden gem on this collection. Only four movies out of ten worth recommending leaves a lot to be desired. I also didn't have as much fun with this compilation as I did the first one I reviewed, but, as ever, I march towards the crap of the future.
Stayed tuned for Craptacular Compilations 3 - The Shadows Collection!