When I think of the fighting games from the 1990s, I think of well made and fast-paced brawlers where 2D sprites scroll side-to-side on my screen trying to low kick each other to death. These games had storylines...Well, I assume they did because, to be honest, I was too busy trying to smash buttons as quickly as possible to care about why one guy was a giant green beast-man from Brazil. This brings us to one of the fighting games I have never played, nor really even heard of, The King of Fighters. The series started as a set of arcade games made by SNK and featured those aforementioned 2D sprites pummeling each other for quarters. If there is a story to be found, I couldn't tell you, not because I don't think there is a story to the games, but more because I am too lazy to look it up. Still, I am pretty sure the games' original story doesn't include using Wi-Fi to travel to another dimension and fight in a tournament. I don't want to leave you with the impression that the Wi-Fi thing encompasses the whole story of The King of Fighters. Although, for a movie based on a fighting game, that would have been fine for me. The writers of this had decided that the fans of the franchise would enjoy a story that has little to do with the fighting games themselves and instead filled the movie with a crap ton of backstories for characters and history that all seem a bit superfluous. The weird dimension they fight in is sadly not given the same writing treatment and is written off as a mysterious place that can be entered through the use of three ancient artifacts, as well as some Alienware laptops and Bluetooth technology. When the people enter this space it also isn't clear if they already know how to fight, or if the dimension gives them to power and knowledge to do so. We barely see any combat outside this otherworldly dimension so it is hard to tell if the characters are fighters in real life. Also, inside they can throw the odd fireball and lightning bolt because of Wi-Fi, I guess. See The King of Fighters has taken the route of taking a game, which was about smacking each other for arcade glory, and turned it into some sort of crazy prophecy-driven revenge love triangle. One that we don't even really get to be a part of from the beginning. We learn very early on, that all the main characters have had things happen to them offscreen and in the past that seem pretty important to their characters. Anything new we learn about them is handled through exposition and flashback. This includes the final fight which has a five-minute flashback explaining why they are fighting in the first place. You'd think they would have settled on a reason earlier in the movie. We don't even get a reason or explanation of why the Japanese clan who owns the artifacts, even runs the tournament. There is only the bare minimum of one-on-one fights to remind you that this was based on a fighting game. The movie starts with one and then gets so far into the mediocre backstories that it seems to forget its roots. The King of Fighters is supposed to be a fighting movie at its heart and while there are a tiny amount of very short fights spaced throughout the early part of the film, it takes most of the run time to get to any sort of real conflict that is even remotely fun to watch. When the fighting does ramp up near the end everyone seems to gain superpowers like fireballs and lightning kicks, which just makes the fights dull and silly looking. So, even at its best moments, The King of Fighters struggles with pacing and well-choreographed fights. Still, knowing all that, how does it stack up in the Showdown?
The Showdown! 1 – Wi-Fighting – 2/10 - I admit, I can kind of get behind a movie based on a fighting game that uses the idea of a non-real space for the fighters to be able to go all out but not be able to kill each other. That is until I found out that this was a special dimension that only a specific Japanese clan is allowed to fight in because they have a special mirror and the seven keys of vintoozler to open it up. If you just add layers of nonsense to cover your crap, you'll always end up with nonsensical crap. 2 – Flashbackery – 2/10 – Why spend this amount of time flashing back for characters that really don't need anymore backstory? How many layers of life story do you need to give to a guy whose character basically boils down to "Guy who wants revenge for his father?" 3 – Leather and Lace – 4/10 – I can commend a film for trying to take the weird-ass costumes from a videogame and make them work in real life. While goofy for the most part, some of them even looked okay. I just wonder why they even bothered trying to make the characters look like their in-game counterparts when they didn't even bother using the story of the game...well I assume. 4 – Q Factor – 6/10 – I am just a fan of Maggie Q, and am giving extra points because I liked her in Balls of Fury. 5 – Building a Mystery - 1/10 – This movie ends with a stare down from a new foe making me think they wanted a sequel. No one wants that. No One.
Bonus Round – Nothing stands out as worthy of bonus points. Maybe as an homage to this film's love of flashbacks, I will look into the past and see something worth giving out points for...Nope.
In the end, The King of Fighters scores a sad 15/50!!!! Placing it only a single point above the very bottom. Maybe live-action Tekken will stack up better?