So let me get this straight. Bruce Willis and Christopher Walken get together with Walter Hill, the writer/director of The Warriors. Their idea is to film a semi-remake of Kurosawa's Yojimbo, and this orange sand-covered bore-fest of a film was the result? For Shaaaaammeeeeeeee!
I had seen Last Man Standing in the late '90s, and I admit I remembered it being better than it was. My broken mind recollected a ton of shootouts, some fast-paced action, guns with infinite ammunition, and other nonsense like that. But, on this rewatch, the movie really feels like a weird mixture of a Samurai Western and a '30s Gangster movie. One which takes place in a town where there is always a sandy orange dust storm blowing through. A western town where no one lives except criminals and prostitutes. That special kind of place where Bruce Willis can't be bothered to muster any damn enthusiasm when doing the voice over. There is a big difference between quiet stoicism and mumbly indifference, and this movie is stuck in the latter.
For the plot, the movie tells the story of a drifter coming into the aforementioned sand-engulfed town being run by two rival gangs. The drifter, known only as John Smith, decides this is the perfect place to make some money by using his smarts and killing skills to play the gangs off each other. At first, this works out, and Smith makes some solid dough. Then he gets a bit full of himself and becomes caught up in his own web of deception. The gangs catch on to his crap, and suddenly John Smith finds himself the target of every low life in the place. Without the ability to escape, he must do the one thing he is good at and has been doing the whole film. Kill People.
While I don't expect a fast pace from either of the genres this movie seems to want to be, the way Last Man Standing is shot makes it feel dull and drawn out. I don't praise mindless action over story, yet this movie needed a few shots of adrenaline more than it needed the uninterested Bruce Willis explaining what was happening through voice-over exposition. My love for Christopher Walken doesn't even help this film. He plays a gangster with a soft voice and a penchant for murder. Sadly, Walken's character is absent for most of the film, and really only matters during the final shoot out. I know I keep going back to this, but Last Man Standing felt like it needed more action, because none of the people in this film seemed to have any want to be there. Add to that the sandy sepia look of the movie, and it really felt like watching a sandstorm from your window for ninety minutes.
So, even with the odd fun shoot out, Last Man Standing is a bit too dull to be anything more than an average action drama. I mean, it could do in a pinch if you only have one DVD and this is it. But you are better off watching Yojimbo than this re-hash.
After all that, how does it fare in the Action Movie Showdown?
Points Round
1 - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang - 5/10 - When the action was hot and heavy, and the exposition was silent, Last Man Standing was a fun little action flick. When it's guns were blazing, this was good stuff.
2 - Action Willis - 6/10 - I can harp all I want on this film, but Bruce Willis, even at his most boring can carry an action film with presence alone.
3 - The Voice-Over - 1/10 - When it sounds like your narrator doesn't care, it is hard to disagree.
4 - Walken This Way - 4/10 - I loved that Christopher Walken was in this film, and hated that he was barely in this film.
5 - Remakery - 3/10 - I understand the idea of remaking a Samurai classic like Yojimbo. I get the mixing of genres for it as well. I just didn't like the end result. The movie was boring when it should have been tense and mindless when it should have been a bit more interesting.
Bonus Round
Walter, Walken, and Willis - Whether I liked the movie or not, it gets one bonus point each for the director and actors I do enjoy. +3 Points.
Final Score
The final score for Last Man Standing is 23/50. Close enough to be average, but mostly forgettable.