Gemini man, Gemini man Doing the things a Sniper with PTSD can What's he like? It's not important Gemini man Is he retired, or is he a clone? When soldiers come calling does he get pwned? Or do the soldiers get pwned instead? Nobody cares, Gemini man Clive Owen man, Clive Owen man Clive Owen man hates Gemini man They have a fight, nobody wins Clive Owen man Mary Elizabeth Winstead man, Mary Elizabeth Winstead man Isn't an actual male man She's really kind to Gemini man Mary Elizabeth Winstead man She's got the skills to help Gemini man, Kicking some ass with a single hand Weirdly becomes a clones, surrogate mom motherly woman man, Mary Elizabeth Winstead man Clone of Gemini man, Clone of Gemini man CGI smashed on his face with a frying pan Lives his life the Uncanny Valley Clone of Gemini man Is he depressed or is he a mess? Does he feel totally worthless? Who came up with the plot of Gemini man? Gemini man, Clone of Gemini man Clive Owen man, Clive Owen man Clive Owen man clones more clones of Gemini man They have a fight, The Geminis win Clive Owen man This song worked weirdly well for the plot of Gemini Man. Less is more, right! On to the Action Movie Showdown Breakdown!
1 – Double Smithery – 5/10 – It may just be me, but I still think that Will Smith can carry a movie. However, I am not sure that adding a non-Fresh Prince CGI faced Will Smith adds to that. 2 – Face Graphicry – 3/10 – It's almost there, but it's just not there. 3 – Action Snipering – 5/10 – What Gemini Man did well, was the one on one Sniper battles between the two Smiths. They were tense, cool, and pumped you up. The problem was, they were sparse as the movie preferred the drama of CGI clones to the action. 4 – Getting Wiggy With it – 4/10 – I feel the writers may have thought the sci-fi clone angle was a lot more interesting on paper than it turned out on-screen. Even the characters in the film weren't all that surprised learning about illegal human cloning. 5 – They Might be Prophets – 8/10 – Gemini Man's plot fits neatly into the lyrics of They Might Be Giant's "Particle Man," which may feel like a useless thing to rate a movie over, but trust me, it's not.
Bonus Round +1 For Sniper vs. Sniper hijinx
Final Score – 25 + 1 = 26/50
Huzzah! After the first two subpar scores, Gemini Man represents the first movie in the Action Movie Showdown to score above fifty percent! It's a Fresh Price miracle!