RPGs provide the opportunity to explore the lives of characters different from ourselves. Games can broaden our view of the world by letting us experiment with what background and life experience means for how our characters (and ourselves) interact with the world. Of course there are as many different identities as there are individual people (around 8 billion?), but in terms of building character identity, there are a few particular choices that we usually make, regardless of whether they are conscious or not. In terms of sexual orientation and gender, most of us tend to default to our own identifiers. It makes sense, that’s an area of expertise and can make it a bit easier to slip into a new character. That being said, I have seen questions arising in gaming communities around playing LGBTQIA+ characters, and when these come from a place of wanting to use the immersive power of gaming to learn more about the experiences of others, I believe it’s to be celebrated and supported.
November 21st is transgender Day of Visibility. In honour of that, I'd like to present some tips for how to respectfully play a trans character. Before you even think about building a character with trans gender identity though, it’s vital that you spare a thought for making your games more inclusive of trans players. This includes making sure that trans people at the table feel safe and comfortable.
First, a few brief disclaimers: language used by trans people is very individual. I refer to myself as trans, and use they/ them pronouns. Anything I’m presenting in this article is only my own opinion, and reflects the language I use for myself. I am in no way attempting to speak for others in the trans community regarding 'correct' use of language. The best way to find out what language someone prefers is to ask them, and respect their response.
Some terms you might see or hear used include:
Cisgender - a person who is the gender they were assigned at birth Transgender- a person who is a different gender than the one they were assigned at birth
Nonbinary - a person who is not solely male or female, they may be both, neither, or a unique combination of genders
AFAB / AMAB - assigned female/ male at birth
CAFAB/ CAMAB - coercively assigned female/male at birth
They/ Them - nonbinary pronouns
Zie/ Hir - non-binary pronouns (pronounced 'zhee'/ 'heer')
FTM/ MTF - indicates transition (e.g. Female to Male)
For Cisgender players wanting to play Trans Characters
Do some research; read books; watch movies. Look into media created BY trans people, not ABOUT trans people.
Not everyone experiences things the same way: dysphoria, trauma, discrimination, acceptance, etc. These can all apply to your character in a variety of ways, try to think about what fits for your character’s individual backstory.
Think about what you want to share with the other players. How about the other characters? You can play a trans character without letting the other players or characters know, it's all about your own knowledge of the character's background, and how that informs their actions and responses.
Avoid using stereotypes to add humour to your character. Think about what gives your character depth, and if you want them to be a humourous character, think carefully about whether trans people at the table would find your portrayal respectful. You're a role-player, you can think of far more creative ways to make your character funny than relying on tired, hurtful stereotypes about trans people! For DMs:
You might not know if someone at your table is trans, think about using these strategies all the time, not just when a player has come out to you.
Strive for diversity in NPCs, describe a variety of genders, appearances, body types, etc.
Avoid using gender identity for comedy in your NPCs. A trans person at your table may feel marginalized or unsafe if they see the table laughing at the fact that a character is being treated as a joke for dressing differently than their perceived gender, try instead to make gender just another aspect of the character. Perhaps a non-binary cleric at a city temple is a particularly overzealous fan of a well- known local hero, and is always asking your characters to be introduced to this hero.
Make a habit of specifically asking for character pronouns when players are introducing their character, and take notes however you need to in order to ensure you will remember the pronouns and have NPCs use the correct pronouns for characters.
Work with your players to help them determine what being trans means in this world. Being trans in modern society often comes with trauma and fear of rejection, but maybe trans people are honoured and respected in the culture of your world. Perhaps your player would like their character to ‘medically’ transition, can you give them a magic item that allows them to always have access to gender affirming clothing, or that has allowed them to have the physical appearance that fits their identity?
A note of caution about asking a trans friend for advice: we are not a homogenous group. Just like any other group of unique people who are connected by a few common threads, not all trans people will react the same way or be similarly willing to discuss trans identity. Be aware that being trans in our society often means being constantly called upon to educate others, and this is emotionally draining. If you have a friend who you think you want to ask for character advice, ask them nicely, and be prepared that they may not be interested in talking about intimate and possibly traumatic parts of their life. Don't push. If your friend is willing to discuss this with you, great! Respect their time and energy. Do something nice for them! Maybe you could take them out for coffee while you talk.
Just by being interested in making your gaming more inclusive and safe for trans people, you're already hopefully thinking about being respectful, but let me repeat the most important point here: trans people are first and foremost people; complex, unique, and deserving of honour. Approach your gaming table with the attitude that you will be respectful of all people, and you are well on your way to making gaming a welcoming, and joyful space for everyone.