Horror Bites - Evilspeak

Evilspeak is one of the few Clint Howard vehicles that see him as the main character. It is also one of those early '80s movies that overestimated the abilities of personal computers and Satanists alike. I figure you can only stuff so much of satan into 64 kb. Still, Evilspeak seems to tell us that anything is possible when dealing with the man downstairs, and not only does he fit into the computer, but so does ESTEBAN.

ESTEBAN!!!!!!

If you haven't seen Evilspeak, then you might have just thought I got possessed and am speaking in tounges. But Esteban is the soul of a Satan-worshipping cult leader who is buried in the basement of a military school. His portraits are still up on the walls, with no one questioning why they exist. Howard's character is bullied non-stop and sent into the basement to clean up the stock rooms. It is in this basement where he comes across a secret evil ritual room and a book with black magic in it. Through a series of bully style events where we see him humiliated and his dog murdered, Howard releases the power of ESTEBAN into himself and exacts revengence.

Evilspeak is a slow burn and focuses a lot on the bullying of Howard's character. Yet, the thing that stood out for me the most was the computer he steals and uses to translate ancient languages for the spells he wants to cast. The character would type a ritual written in an ancient language into the computer, and get back an apparently perfect English translation. Which is pretty impressive since I can barely get that in 2020 google translate. Of course, the machine pops up with large letters spelling ESTEBAN in the center of a blinking pentagram every few minutes. Then weirdly enough, evil happens, and as you can tell by my love of writing ESTEBAN in capital letters, that aspect of the film really affected me.

Well, my enjoyment of the overestimation of '80s technology was high, I do think that Evilspeak was a bit too slow of a burn. It is easy to see that the bullying of Howard is going to lead to revenge, but, his descent into Satanism takes him an awfully long time. When he finally snaps, he is all swords and giant pig murders. The rest of the movie is made up of ninety percent build-up, with five percent Satanesque murders and five percent shameless nudity. I would have enjoyed seeing a bit more experimentation with the evil computer, maybe tempting Howard with popularity, riches, girls. You know, the basic Satan temptation stuff. I do think it is believable that the character would eventually snap with all the bullying, but, the movie gets really bogged down with that aspect. I don't know how many scenes we need where the same four guys throw away his hat without and call him Cobbledick over and over before it becomes tedious.

After all that, I would recommend Evilspeak. I think it has enough fun in it to be enjoyable, especially if you like your black magic movies. The last fifteen minutes are worth the price of admission anyways, and I love the early '80s impossible computer as well. ESTEBAN!